Oh, and now I’m supposed to send Christmas cards to his little friends too?!
This discovery in my 3 year old’s book bag made me realize that I am NOT ready for the holidays. I know we are mid-way through, but it has taken me a lot of effort to get into the Holiday Spirit. Maybe I haven’t heard Mariah Carey’s “All I want for Christmas” enough times. It could be that I have yet to sing along to a new R-n-B rendition of Donny Hathaway’s “This Christmas.” Whatever the reason, I know that my Scrooge like tendencies are pieces that fit right into my ADHD puzzle. I applaud those mama’s that find the time to actually take the family photo, AND make it to a Walgreen’s Photoshop to dazzle up a Jolly greeting that’s in the mail before the Christmas trees comes down. Starting in October, my thoughts of Christmas tend to become a stressful “to-do” list that doesn’t let up until December 25th. And gift-giving is another issue all together. I start off with great gift ideas for each of my friends and loved ones and I even set out to orchestrate the creations myself. By the time December 25th comes, I’m delivering what I know to be a half-@$$ed last minute attempt that I secretly regret because I know what I woulda gave if only…
I also admire those people who love the thrill of the last-minute Christmas rush. I picture them gearing up with a well-organized list, sorted by fancy color codes and check boxes. I’m sure Apple or Google have an amazing Christmas checklist app just for these folks (if you know of this kinda app please share because I always need new tools to try). I am not one of those sistas. I end up leaving stores with nothing but a headache and a bunch of unnecessary stuff for my kids that wasn’t even on Santa’s list.
So, why the need for confessional?
I wanted to be truthful to my cause and tell the world, I do NOT have a tree decorated, and my halls are not decked. I’m leaving those details to grandma next week when we visit her. I have not been to one mall or department store in efforts to complete/start my holiday gift shopping. I did contribute to the gift that all of the parents are giving to my kid’s teachers; but the woman in charge of the collection had to hunt me down for that money because I kept forgetting to go to the bank.
With this confession, I am done with the guilt, embarrassment and shame that creeps up during the last few months of the year. I’ve spent so long worrying about what my holiday efforts look like to other people. I don’t want to continue analyzing my relationships based on my (in)ability to get to the post-office by December 20th or feel pressured to show affection through displays of thoughtful attention to detail. My heart is big, my spirit is giving, but my mind works in contrast to the standard operations of our holiday season.
Therefore, I humbly and sincerely confess: I’m horrible at the traditional Thanksgiving/Christmas/Kwanzaa/New Years stuff.
But I know
For unto us a Child is born,
Unto us a Son is given;
And the government will be upon His shoulder.
And His name will be called
Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6
Keeping this in mind, I’m going to hold my kids a little longer before I take them to see the lights downtown. And I’m going to worry less about what to get my husband for Christmas, and work on giving him more of what I know he really wants (wink). I’m also going to make a list of people I need to reach out to more often, instead of sitting down and making a list of how I’ll spend money on them before December’s over. It will probably continue to be hit and miss for me each year. But I won’t be beating myself up about it because Now, I have a wiser perspective.
How about you? Do you celebrate the holidays in an unconventional way? Did you Decorate the house yet? Leave a comment and we’ll chat about it 🙂